Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Who says Moron's can't cheat ???

To cheat in an exam....is a beautiful art not perfected by all and sundry....here in old skool i pride myself on being one of the best cheaters the skool has seen since its inception...for my style of functioning is quite different from any other run of the mill cheater u know or possibly are...

but i too have had my anxious{read: PHADU) moments like this recent one ....

days after exams:

The teacher was showing the answer sheet of a test paper....despite having...scores ofcogsheet (farrrrraaas   re.....) in my front,back and handmade pockets during the exam.. I could only manage getting a 4 out of 10 in this paper...

So i went to the teacher and politely asked “ hey guru(teacher)....kindly increase my marks in the following answers for they are correct to the best of my knowledge”

“hey ullu(student)...the question has been taught not by me but some other mr. Dick kindly go to him”.

I knew my answer was wrong and knowing what a dick Mr.Dick was.. there was no point going to him....i went outside the class and myself took the trouble of rewarding marks in that answer (with a red pen of course)..and a FEW more(the temptation was overwhelming)..

I counted 15 ugly girls outside and entered.... the teacher was surrounded by a crowd of students all following my lead...went in and said:

-“hey teacher Mr.dick has now given me marks in the following answers..kindly change my marks in you record book"

She looked at it ....while i prayed...(my gods being led zeppelin,pink Floyd).
Will she buy it( sound of drums rolling)
...NO.... she didn't.

Agony crept all over her face.... a nerve on her forehead twitched..opened her mouth..

-"will she sing a rock number” 
-NO....she SCREEEAMED...

--“ass****( mind no hey) ..how could have Mr.dick given marks for this question when it was taught by me...u wait u scoundrel...u increased Ur marks yourself....”

--mamm....ammmm ..ammm(very long agonizing pause).

while the teacher jostled amidst the ...jaw dropped made fresh zombie  students ...to make space and get hold of my collar ....i slowly moved backwards in the crowd and did the vanishing act..(read:ran like hell)....only to hear her scream...wait or else...else...

1. haven't attended her class since then(been a month now)...
2. attendance at an all time low......
3. she picks every other guy in college and asks if he was the the one that day ....
4. last heard that dis grunted students had resorted to throwing stones at her in self defence,
5.the area in and around her department is strictly out of bounds for i fear having my posters pasted on the walls there.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

A serious post !!

Like any other mumbaikar the recent terror attacks in mumbai left me seething with indignation.
My first thought in response to the terror attacks in mumbai was.....”i go to the places almost every month...in fact it had only been a week since i had been there...”
Whenever my cousins or friends would be visiting mumbai . The
area in and around colaba would be the first in our
itinerary......The soothing cool wind of the ocean and the architectural

grandaunce of the TAj in the backdrop made for perfect combination.

what particularly saddened my heart was to see how weak and fragile a nation we still our.on one hand we are eying to be a global superpower on the other our borders are so porous that the terrorists could attack at whim.
what were our NAVY,ATS,intelligence guys doing???

The condition on ground zero was even more deplorable.there were as many as 100 policeman deployed in that areas ...only these policeman were carrying simple lathis and .303 rifles(used in the world war 2) with them....on the contrary the 6 terrorist who entered mumbai through had with them automatic assault m-6 guns and ak-47's.........consequentially when the terrorist struck majority of these policeman were the first to run helter-skelter along with the public to save their lives....This itself tells the collective horror tale of the..... sorry state of internal security in India and of how woefully we lack in quality infrastructure...WAKE UP.INDIA!!!

.303 RIFLE and the AK-47'S respectively