Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Who says Moron's can't cheat ???

To cheat in an exam....is a beautiful art not perfected by all and sundry....here in old skool i pride myself on being one of the best cheaters the skool has seen since its inception...for my style of functioning is quite different from any other run of the mill cheater u know or possibly are...

but i too have had my anxious{read: PHADU) moments like this recent one ....

days after exams:

The teacher was showing the answer sheet of a test paper....despite having...scores ofcogsheet (farrrrraaas   re.....) in my front,back and handmade pockets during the exam.. I could only manage getting a 4 out of 10 in this paper...

So i went to the teacher and politely asked “ hey guru(teacher)....kindly increase my marks in the following answers for they are correct to the best of my knowledge”

“hey ullu(student)...the question has been taught not by me but some other mr. Dick kindly go to him”.


I knew my answer was wrong and knowing what a dick Mr.Dick was.. there was no point going to him....i went outside the class and myself took the trouble of rewarding marks in that answer (with a red pen of course)..and a FEW more(the temptation was overwhelming)..

I counted 15 ugly girls outside and entered.... the teacher was surrounded by a crowd of students all following my lead...went in and said:

-“hey teacher Mr.dick has now given me marks in the following answers..kindly change my marks in you record book"

She looked at it ....while i prayed...(my gods being led zeppelin,pink Floyd).
....
Will she buy it( sound of drums rolling)
...
...NO.... she didn't.

Agony crept all over her face.... a nerve on her forehead twitched..opened her mouth..

-"will she sing a rock number” 
-NO....she SCREEEAMED...

--“ass****( mind no hey) ..how could have Mr.dick given marks for this question when it was taught by me...u wait u scoundrel...u increased Ur marks yourself....”

--mamm....ammmm ..ammm(very long agonizing pause).

while the teacher jostled amidst the ...jaw dropped made fresh zombie  students ...to make space and get hold of my collar ....i slowly moved backwards in the crowd and did the vanishing act..(read:ran like hell)....only to hear her scream...wait or else...else...

THE AFTERMATH :
1. haven't attended her class since then(been a month now)...
2. attendance at an all time low......
3. she picks every other guy in college and asks if he was the the one that day ....
4. last heard that dis grunted students had resorted to throwing stones at her in self defence,
5.the area in and around her department is strictly out of bounds for i fear having my posters pasted on the walls there.

16 comments:

arnab said...

the night before we were chatting in my room about that "wrong ques,wrong teacher" thing,and the next day,he comes up with gr8 pen-flare,

Vipul,I know, seems one of those brimmed matchboxes of potent,

keep up the good work

GNUger said...

guess who is the Mr. Dick here.. :D..

V-PUNK said...

@ gnuger
gullu gawar....kaisa rahega...

Urv said...

Hahaha.. Things would have been much smoother had u belonged to the fairer sex and the teacher to the dog-pig category ;)

V-PUNK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pseudo intellectual said...

lol! the things that go on in engg colleges...!

alex paul k said...

lolz....well i guess it ws a wrk f yo imagination...doesnt feel realistic to b honest....but very well writte n was damn hilarious

Abhinav said...

Wow! Loved the post!
Cheating is really very easy yet very very difficult job who aren't well trained.. or may be its natural..!
hehehe!

I must learn some tips from u!

Ankita Agrawal said...

OMG..u actually did this??

hmmm...gutsy hannn!!


www.enchantinganki.wordpress.com

monjit doley said...

Cheating in an exam is an art..a jackass may not be able to cheat even though he is intelligent..vipul is an expert cheater but a li'l less than me...lolz
3 CHEERS FOR CHEATERS......

Harish Govardhan said...

Ha ha ha... good one.. really hilarious! I was very bad in cheating. n have got caught once.. lol.. Well written!

Stupidosaur said...

Abbey, kabhi blog update kar apna! 7-8 months pehle jab tuuney mera blog link dala tha tab mein statcounter ke through identify karke aaya tha tere blog pe! Tab sey yehi post latak raha hai idhar!

Yeh mat bol ki tu busy hai.Mereko maluum hai engg students kitna 'busy' hota hai :P

BTW 5 star ka ad nahin dekha kya? Choron ke bhi kuchh usool hote hain. Toh Moron ke toh honae hi chahiye na! Especially jab Moron Choron wali harkat karta hai.

'Honestly' sirf wohi sir ke question ke marks badha deta, toh shayad smoothly nikal jata! Par nahi! Bhaisahab ne dusre questions pe bhi daav aajmaya!

divsi said...

hehehe..
so were ya posters actually adornin those walls??;P

R S said...

1. that was a big mistake ofcourse.
2. big mistakes make great posts.
3. i like the way you write and express things
4. my brother's name is Vipul and he is in second yr in NSIT....(useless info)
5. I am following u from now on.
6. Do visit my place and tell me what you feel

Esther said...

stopping by!! :P Love the blog name! :D kinda punched me in the mouth! :D

Jeny jOhn CharleS said...

hilarious!!
u pulled a gud 1 ,dude!!